The End of the Affair

I mentioned that I might discuss marriedcheatingnymph's latest development. I don't really have a lot to say except this: Break-ups are always hard, but extramarital break-ups are even harder. Because not only do you have all the normal emotional fallout--the loneliness and the fragility and the emotional storms that whip you around without warning twenty times a day, where you're sitting in a meeting or you're at a restaurant being asked for your drink order and wham! suddenly it's like your throat is full of broken glass and your eyes get blurry from tears that you refuse to allow to fall and you have absolutely no goddamned idea why it chose that moment to overwhelm you. Not only do you have all that, but you have to keep it all inside. You can't go get drunk and commiserate with your best friend. You can't explain to your spouse that you're going to be a little hard to get along with for a few days, or a few weeks, because you've lost someone very important in your life. You can't even hint to your co-workers why you're on edge all the time. You have to hold it all inside, and where before keeping up the front was such a fun game because you were hiding a secret bliss, now it's a daily torture. I've been there. Sometimes I'm still there, although I haven't done a drink'n'dial with Lois in months. The ironic thing is, I was the one who was constantly reminding her not to get too involved, to keep it all light and fun, just fuck buddies and nothing more. And I was the one who ended it, at first. But then I decided that maybe I wanted to start again, and by that time, she had moved on, and unlike me, when she was done, she was D-O-N-E. I held a torch for her for a few years, while I was seeing Lana, and even after Lana and I had cooled. I'm only now really getting out her out of my system, and yet, if she called me tomorrow and wanted to get back together, hell yeah, I'd do it. I should have more pride than that, but as I've said before, she was intoxicating and I was her addict. I may tell her story in more detail soon, if anyone's interested. Bad Jonny is over for a while. And if you've got any questions, feel free. Final notes: if you're not reading Memoirs of a Cheater, you should. It's great stuff -- sexy-hot-sexy-sex with an intriguing plotline. Thank you to anonyma and mel for the birthday treats; I'm brainstorming an extra-special "thank you" surprise. We'll see if it happens. Can somebody clue me in on what's good about Technorati or del.icio.us? I kind of get what they're for, but I'm not sure I get the benefit for me. And while we're at it, I'm debating taking the AdSense plunge. They say that with a blog as small as mine, I'd only be making beer money, but hell, a beer would come in handy right about now. The button will stay through Saturday, and then?